Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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