Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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