she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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