I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
