listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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