I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
