i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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