My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
