I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
