my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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