Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize