you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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