Apparently you make a good broom.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
