You really coming over, don't trick.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there was a trapeze. enough said
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
