Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
