Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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