Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
