I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
