It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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