Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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