my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
