dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
