True but thats because hes a fetus.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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