i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
