420 ftw
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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