I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
