Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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