Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Blood and glitter go together right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
