Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
