remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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