ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
