I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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