He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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