I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize