Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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