I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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