oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
