im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
