i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize