You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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