the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
