Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
50% drunk capacity currently
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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