She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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