Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
