i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
