They should really pass out barf bags in church
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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