He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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