You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
honey bunches of taint.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
