but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
