tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His nipple licking is glorious
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