She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
