i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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