He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
