I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
