I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
