yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
