Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
