She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
