I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
