go do what you do best...puke behind churches
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
