why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
