I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize