so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
