sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just tell him i said nine months
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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